12 Things I Hate About You
by CassandraHolly
Summary: Found this on my old Quizilla account. Regulus and Sirius  no slash  based on a poem. Rated T for mentions of abuse and rape.


**AN: Found this on my account on Quizilla, something i used freakin' ages ago... enjoy, requests, comment. xx**

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><p><em>I hate the way you talk to me.<em>  
>'Oh, look who it is." Regulus sneered. "My dear brother, the Blood Traitor."<br>Sirius ignored him, preferring to carry on walking down the corridor- but they blocked his way.  
>"Don't ignore me, Sirius. Don't you remember what father said?"<br>Yes, Sirius did remember what father said, it was hard to ignore what father said because everything that he said had been pounded in to his head daily. Regulus took it upon himself to remind Sirius, anyway.  
>"He said, 'Don't ignore people, you filthy disgrace, and if you do, I will personally make sure you regret it.'"<br>Regulus' cronies laughed. Sirius glowered at his younger brother without saying anything.  
>"But he lied, didn't he, Sirius. He didn't take care of it." And before he turned to leave, Regulus flicked his want, and the bottom of Sirius' shirt jerked up, exposing the long scars across his waist.<br>"I did."

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><p><em>I hate the way you cut your hair.<em>  
>"God, Sirius, what are you, an emo?" Regulus snapped when he turned to see his brother for the first time in two months; Sirius had escaped to the Potter's. His black hair, which had been cut jaggedly by their mother to try and disguise the fact the enormous chunk missing from the latest punishment from their father, had been styled completely differently; it was now short and spiky at the back, with a long side fringe over one eye and a smaller one over the other ear. Sirius looked at him through his fringe, his grey eyes flat and uncaring.<br>"No, Regulus, I'm not an emo. If you'd remember, I don't slit my own wrists. Father does it for me." Sirius turned and walked away, and Regulus watched him, envying the way Sirius made everything look good.

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><p><em>I hate the way you stare.<em>  
>Sirius felt eyes on him.<br>More appropriately, burning holes in him.  
>Sirius ignored the feeling, like he ignored everything else to do with his brother, and carried on laughing and joking with James and Remus. They were at the Gryffindor table, meant to be eating the food they were chucking at each other.<br>Eventually he couldn't ignore it anymore, and Sirius' eyes flickered to the Slytherin table, homing in on his brother, who wasn't glaring or smiling. Just staring. Sirius hated that. He hated being watched, it made him self conscious and then he slipped; the pain would show in his eyes, he would forget to make sure his shirt sleeves were covering the crosses on his wrists. James now thought Sirius was suicidal, and Sirius couldn't bring himself to darken James' happy world any more by admitting his father was the one who would put Sirius under the Imperius and make him do it himself.  
>Sirius hated being watched, and Regulus knew it, but he carried on staring at Sirius until Sirius had enough and walked out. He felt the eyes on him the entire way.<p>

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><p><em>I hate the way you read my mind<em>  
>Regulus watched the way his father hurting his brother, watched his father yelling at his mother, watched his father scorning his uncle Alphard, watched his father bribing the Minister for Magic, and hated thinking that one day, that would be him. He didn't want to grow up hurting people. He wanted to grow up successful, with a pure blood wife, pure blood kids, a well known and respected name, and most of all a proper, respectful heir, who would hold the name with pride- unlike his brother, who pretty much took every opportunity to spread shit all over it- but he didn't want to cause <em>pain<em>. Regulus knew it wasn't intentional. Still. He was a Gryffindor.  
>Sirius watched Regulus watching their father, and knew exactly what Regulus was thinking. Regulus didn't<em> want<em> to hurt people. And although he would rather murder himself than admit it, that made Sirius proud of his younger sibling.  
>Even though he hated him.<br>So one night, when Sirius was lying bleeding on the floor, after being tortured by his father and watched by his mother and brother, Sirius spoke to Regulus for the first time in a month.  
>"If you hate it so much," Sirus had murmured, "Why don't you do something about it?"<br>Regulus hated Sirius reading his mind.

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><p><em>I hate you so much that it makes me sick<em>  
>"Sirius! Sirius, open the damn door!"<br>Sirius ignored James bellowing through the wooden door, and carried on puking up his guts in to the toilet.  
>"For fuck's sake, Sirius, if you don't open this door I'm going to break it down!" James hollered, thumping his fists against it. In the time it took for James to take a breath so he could carry on yelling, Sirius let out a tiny mewl, clinging on to the toilet lid like it was the one thing harbouring him to the planet. James stopped breathing for a second, and the silence was broken by Sirius retching.<br>James shuddered with relief, and slid down the door until he was on his knees. The images of Sirius lying in the bathroom with blood pumping out of his wrists evaporated from his mind and he could have cried with the relief.  
>"Sirius, mate, come on. Open the door." He murmured quietly, soothingly. He heard a small shuffling sound, and the door swung open. James saw Sirius holding on to the handle, on his knees, and enveloped him in an enormous hug.<br>Sirius decided James was a much better harbour to the planet, and griped on to him instead. James was his brother. Regulus would never do this. All Regulus would do was...  
>Make him sick.<p>

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><p><em>I hate you so much it even makes me rhyme.<em>  
>"What's this?" James asked, taking the paper out of Remus' shocked hands. "What is this?" He repeated, unfolding it.<br>"A poem." He answered his own question. "Twelve Things I Hate About You."  
>"Sirius wrote it." Remus said quietly. "I found it in our dorm."<br>"Sure it wasn't Peter?"  
>They looked at each other and sniggered. James sobered up when he read it.<br>"Jeez."  
>"Depressing, huh."<br>"Who does he hate so much it makes him sick?"  
>They both thought, and answered at the same time.<br>"Regulus."

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><p><em>I hate the way you're always right<em>  
>"Don't be an idiot." Regulus snapped. "Uncle Cygnus would never rape anybody."<br>Sirius watched him critically. "Don't be stupid enough to think he wouldn't."  
>Regulus scowled, then turned and watched Cygnus. He rolled his eyes at his brother. "Cygnus wouldn't rape anyone, you're just trying to make me hate them as much as you. Well too bad- <em>I<em> plan on being the heir to this family, just you watch."  
>Sirius silently let him walk away.<br>An hour later, Regulus saw Cygnus brush past Sirius, say something, and go out the door. Sirius paled noticeably. He put down his unopened bottle of butterbeer with shaking hands, and bit his lip. Regulus stared at him, trying to fathom what was making him so visibly nervous. Sirius never looked scared, even when father was going at him. The only place you could see the fear was his eyes. Regulus frowned at Sirius as the pale boy walked out the door, closing it behind him.  
>Another hour passed.<br>The door opened.  
>Cygnus walked in- his clothes slightly rumpled, hair slightly untidy. He looked happy, somehow. Like he'd just been through the most pleasing experience life had to offer. As Regulus watched, he looked back through the door and said something.<br>Sirius walked in.  
>Regulus gaped.<br>Sirius was walking stiffly, as if in pain. He was as pale as Regulus' shirt, and his cheeks were flushed. Sirius had been crying, as well- his eyes were red. Sirius was looking at the floor and biting his lip as Cygnus walked away, but he glanced up and saw Regulus staring at him, eyes wide.  
>He mouthed something and walked away. Regulus nearly fainted at what Sirius said:<br>_'Told you so.'_

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><p><em>I hate the way you make me laugh<em>

Dumbeldore was making a speech, like he did every year, and it was the single most boring thing Regulus had to endure. Until four boys and a girl plummeted out of the sky.  
>James Potter landed on his back in front of Dumbeldore. Remus Lupin landed on his ass about a foot away. Peter Pettigrew belly-flopped with a muffled 'thwump'. Cassie Meadowes landed on her back with all her limbs vertical, resembling a cartoon of a dead cat. Sirius Black did a couple of flips, a double back twist and a pirouette before landing on his toes, knees bent, arms out straight.<br>"Wow," he said absent-mindedly, "I guess those etiquette classes really payed off."  
>Regulus couldn't help but laugh with the rest of the school. He didn't want to. But he did, and he despised it.<p>

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><p><em>Even worse, when you make me cry<em>  
>"Sirius," James said tiredly from outside the dormitory door, "Just how many times am I going to have to threaten to knock this damn door off it's hinges because you wont do the sensible thing and open it?<br>Nothing.  
>"Nothing." James muttered darkly.<br>"Sirius!" He yelled. "Open the goddamn door- my, doesn't _that_ sound familiar-"  
>"Go away, James!" Sirius yelled, his temper getting the best of him, as it always did. "Leave me alone!"<br>"Mate. I would. I really, really would like nothing better than to leave you alone, but the problem is,right, that I'm standing out here in my boxers with a crowd of giggling girls at the bottom of the stairs, and you're in there, with my clothes. So you see the predicament I have here is, it wont be long before they figure out that girls can operate the boy's staircase as if they themselves have balls. So please, for the love of all that is _holy_, if you _value_ my _sanity_ and_ virginity,_ _Open. The Door_."  
>There was a click and the door opened. "Oh hey it worked-" James began, and stopped when he saw Sirius sitting on his bed, his arms wrapped around his knees, head buried under them.<br>"Sirius, are you OK?" Mentally cursing himself for winning the dumbest question of the year award.  
>Sirius' shoulders were shaking. Either he was having an epileptic fit or he was crying, and Sirius never cried- but he never had fits, either. James walked to his bed and awkwardly wrapped his arms around his best mate.<br>"Sirius, are you OK?" he repeated, this time in a soothing voice.  
>"I hate him, James!" Sirius sobbed. "I hate him so much, and he still gets to me, how does he do that?"<br>"Regulus." James assumed.  
>"I hate him James.. I hate him, don't I?"<br>James didn't answer, and Sirius looked up at him, panic stretching across his features.  
>"Don't I?"<p>

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><p><em>I hate the way you're not around<em>  
>The house was completely different ever since Sirius had left.<br>Well, not completely.  
>The drawing room had been bloodied beyond repair- literally- and even Kreacher's house elf magic hadn't been able to clean the dark red, dried puddles on the floor and the walls. Regulus wandered the house at night, expecting to turn a corner and see Sirius on the floor like he always was, not yet awake, not yet having crept back to his room to apply the bandages to his wrists and body.<br>Sirius wasn't there anymore though; Sirius had ran away, for the first time in his life. He had ran away after their father had insulted his new girlfriend. She was a blood traitor, too, in Gryffindor; their father had called her a filthy muggle lover and a disgrace to wizard kind, and Sirius had used accidental magic. That was when their mother and father had gotten scared, because there were only two other cases where wizards or witches over the age of twelve had used accidental magic, neither as violent as this, and Sirius had a hell of a lot of reasons to hurt them. The lights had flashed, every piece of glass in the drawing room had smashed, their mother and father had been engulfed in pain, and Sirius- you could see the darkness curling around his body. Or was it darkness? Maybe it was light. His skin had been glowing, his eyes flashing and black, his hair whipping around his face, and then he'd picked up the picture of Cassie, James and him, permanently stuck it to the wall on top of his portrait on the family tree and walked out. Just like that. And the next day, his stuff was all gone. Nobody ever knew how, but he never came back. Regulus missed Sirius' atmosphere of contained laughter and love, his presence that engulfed any room the minute he walked in, his way of making even their father uncomfortable by just looking at him.  
>Regulus missed him more than he'd ever missed anyone.<br>And, naturally, he hated that.

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><p><em><br>I hate the way you didn't call_  
>"He was supposed to call." James informed Cassie quietly as they watched Sirius stare dejectedly in to the fireplace. "Regulus. He was supposed to fire- call. He didn't."<br>"Course he didn't, he's a Slytherin, same as the rest of 'em." Cassie scowled.  
>"Sirius is a Black. He isn't the same as the rest of them." James pointed out, and Cassie sighed before walking to Sirius. She sat down and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.<br>"Sirius. Come on, mate."  
>"He's going to call."<br>"No, Sirius, it's been an hour now and he aint even sent you an owl. He aint gonna call you, Sirius."  
>Sirius looked at her, his face expressionless, then stood up and walked to the door.<br>"Sirius." Sirius didn't turn. "Sirius." James said quietly.  
>Sirius turned around, and his façade crumpled, and before he started to cry he ran out of the room.<br>"I hate him." Said Cassie. "For Sirius."

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><p><em>But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you<em>  
>"Sirius! Sirius, wait!"<br>Not even close.  
>Sirius turned around.<br>"Regulus."  
><em>Not even a little bit.<em>  
>"Sirius, I- I'm sorry!"<p>

_Not at all._


End file.
